Weekend Update

We officially received 29.5 inches of snow over the weekend and I did a pretty good job of avoiding the couch!

On Saturday,while Hub was outside shoveling and blowing the aforementioned inches,  I got out the sewing machine and sewed the livingroom valances that I’ve put off doing for over two years.  I then made 5 lobs of meatballs and did a zillion loads of wash.  Come to think of it, I don’t think I read at all on Saturday. 

On Saturday night, we made hot shots.  You make a cup of instant hot chocolate  – I prefer the kind with extra mini marshmallows.  Then you add a shot of butterscotch schnapps to the mug.  Delicious!!!

Yesterday, Hub and youngest son went to the Philadelphia Car Show and daughter was at her boyfriend’s house so I had the house to myself!!!!!!!  Well, except for Lola, but she doesn’t bug me.  I cleaned and did more laundry and then I ran to the couch and read for two hours and then napped for two hours.  I thought it was funny when I woke up and realized that I was scrunched onto the loveseat while the cat was stretched out on the couch.

That cat is so damn spoiled!

Of course, we watched the Super Bowl last night and while we watched, I finally sewed the hem on my supervisor’s pants. She was thrilled when I handed them to her this morning. She immediately changed into them and I must say, I did a great job.  I know it’s not hard to hem a pair of pants, but I’m such a perfectionist that I steamed them afterwards and the creases were sharp enough to cut butter.  Butter I tell ya, butter!

My coworkers are losing their minds about the impending snow storm.  We’re supposed to be getting another 10 to 18 inches on Tuesday night into Wednesday.  People are dropping like flies asking for Wednesday or Thursday off from work.   I’m just gonna play it by ear – if I can get the Durango out of the driveway, I’ll go to work – if I can’t, I won’t.  I’m not losing sleep over this – I hate to waste a vacation day because of the snow, but so be it.

The snow is coming and I am determined that I’m not just going to lie around the house all day tomorrow reading and watching movies.  I plan to get out the sewing machine and work on the valances for my livingroom curtains and hem my friend’s pants that she asked me to hem for her over three months ago. 

Apparently Popeye and the Sea Hag are getting along again.  That’s bipolar for ya!  I sent Swee’Pea some pj’s and an adorable stuffed pink heart and a Dora the Explorer movie for Valentine’s Day.  They received the gifts and Popeye called to thank me for them. The Sea Hag was in the background telling Swee’Pea,  “Tell Grandmom you love her.”

I was shocked…let’s see how long this good mood lasts.

Hey has anyone been to Key West?  I’ve decided to plan a trip to celebrate my birthday every year in April.  I have never been anywhere, so I don’t want to leave the country for my first jet plane ride.  I hear Key West is beautiful.  Any suggestions?

Oh, Baby Boom with Diane Keaton just came on – I LOVE this movie!  I would LOVE to move to Vermont and make organic baby food.  Of course, I would only do it if the town looked like the quaint village of Stars Hollow from “Gilmore Girls”.

Let it Be

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Over the years, I’ve sung this song hundreds of times – in my bedroom, in the car, on the beach, standing in an elevator by myself, in the shower – and I’ve never really heard it until now, until today.

When I find myself in times of trouble…let it be.

Popeye and the Sea Hag stories have returned.  Popeye calls me weekly and tells me horrible stories about their lives.  Recently, after one terrible argument between them, the Sea Hag ran outside, grabbed a hammer and smashed the headlights and tail lights of the Neon that we’d given them.  She also threw open the hood and ripped the wiring system apart.

On Friday he called and told me they had a huge argument and he drove their truck to work.  When she heard the car start, she ran outside without a jacket and in her bare feet screaming that he wasn’t allowed to drive “her” truck.  She is no longer working – she is on bed rest awaiting the impending birth of their second child  (Did Swea’Pea have a sibling ’cause I’m gonna have to come up with a pseudonym for my newest grandchild).

He’s lost so much time at work because of these bipolar tantrums that he decided to just keep driving.  She then started calling and texting him screaming and cursing.  She apparently notified her mother who is also bipolar (did I ever mention that her parents met in a psych hospital where they were both confined?), who also called and texted him, telling him that he would be in jail by the end of the day for stealing the Sea Hag’s truck.

This is all happening at 6:30 in the morning.

He wasn’t arrested and I don’t know if the parents picked up the truck which they threatened to do.  In the past when she’s done this,  he’s been forced to rent a car to get back and forth to work.

The fact that Swee’Pea is exposed to this daily horror just destroys me.

I told Popeye that I get so upset when he tells me these stories and he always responds by saying, “I know, Mom, but you’re the only person I can talk to.”

From the past I’ve learned that no amount of crying, or calling or advising or fervant praying has changed anything so after hearing this song on the radio this morning,  I’ve decide to just let it be.

Toilet Talk

And now for an indelicate question.

Do any of you flush cat poop down your toilet?  Not the whole litter box, just the poop when you scoop?

If you do…..STEP AWAY FROM THE TOILET!!!!!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that LA commented on my last entry that I should make sure that the shower drain was covered so that no litter could fall into it.  Psychic LA knew what was going to happen before we did!!

Hub had noticed that the ground around our sewer vent in the back yard was soggy and he decided to investigate this afternoon.  I was hoping he could fix the problem quickly and with as little cursing and commotion as possible.

No such luck.

Within a 1/2 hour, a bunch of our neighbors were standing in my back yard with makeshift clog cleaners made of garden hoses, clothesline poles, shovels, picks, hangars, and PVC pipes.  There was a whole lot of pointing and scratching of heads going on.

So much for no commotion.

I knew I was in trouble when they all started to look at me and shake their heads as if they felt sorry for my Hub who had married the village idiot.  To make a long story short, the little bits of clay litter that clung to the poop slowly built a wall in the pipes.

Moses and the other slaves couldn’t have built a wall that thick.  Pharoah would have been proud.

Excuuuuuuse Me!

We keep Lola’s litterbox in the unused shower in our first floor bathroom.  The other day I walked into the bathroom and suddenly spotted Lola using her box.

I jumped and shouted, “Oh, Lola, I’m so sorry!” and then quick ran out of the bathroom.

How insane is that??!! I was worried about my cat having privacy using the litterbox as if I had walked in on someone in a department store bathroom!!

Crazy.

Gross

One of our members called me today to inquire how often we (his medical insurance company) would pay for a colonoscopy…except he didn’t say colonoscopy.

His actual words were and I quote, “How often does ___ pay for me to dance with the silver snake?”

Yecch.

Starbucks Chai Tea

Poolie keeps talking about Starbucks and every time I read her blog, I want to run out and get my venti, nonfat, extra hot, no foam, no water Chai Latte.

This is a problem because I already had one today, and yesterday and the day before, etc., etc., etc.

I was introduced to this drink years ago when I was chaperoning a prom with my friend for the high school where we worked.  We had time to spare before the kids arrived, so we went downstairs to the hotel’s Starbucks. I never drank coffee, so my friend suggested I try the chai tea.  I was totally unprepared for the delicious taste of liquid pumpkin pie. I ‘ve been addicted ever since.

The first thing I think of when I wake in the morning is my chai.  I make sure that I leave for work in plenty of time to stop at Starbucks..  I’ve tried to fight this addiction to no avail.   I’ve purchased General Foods International Chai Latte, but it just doesn’t taste the same.

Wawa has a chai tea that I tried once.  It tasted like a cup full of chemicals and gave me reflux.  Panera’s chai tea is HORRIBLE and also tore up my stomach.

The baristas all know me at my favorite Starbucks and as soon as they see my car pull up, they start my drink. It must be extra hot – to me there is nothing worse than a warm cup of tea.  I want to almost burn my mouth.  And  NO WATER – I don’t want watered down pumpkin pie!

The funny thing is that I don’t crave it in the summer, but from September through April, I have to have one just about every day…and stay out of my way if I don’t have time to stop for it.

Yes, I know it’s expensive and fattening, but an addiction is an addiction…and I’m addicted.

Winter Weekend

I have been totally self-indulgent this weekend.  On Friday, I finished reading ‘The Help” by Kathryn Stockett.  I was totally mesmerized and horrified by this book which is told by black women who worked as domestic help in Jackson, Mississippi.  Of course, we all know about the 60’s and the fight for civil rights; however, reading this book gave me such a clearer picture of that tumultuous time.

Yesterday, I read “I’m Down” by Mishna Wolff, which I really enjoyed.  It was a quick read and made me laugh out loud.  Then Hub and I watched Cold Mountain which I read years and years ago, but never got around to seeing the movie.

This morning, I woke up to the sounds of a torrential downpour so I decided to stay in my pajamas and watch “He’s Just Not That Into You”.  Yes, it is totally a “chick flick” and I loved it.

A lazy and enjoyable weekend.

And you are…..?

So, yesterday I went to the psychiatrist or psychologist (whichever one can prescribe meds – I always get them m ixed up) for my quarterly visit for my med refills.

As I walked into his office, he said to me, “Have I ever seen you before?”

ummmmmmmm

“Well, yes”, I replied.

He said, with a confused look on his face, “Oh, just not at this office, right?”

“Actually”, I replied, I’ve been coming to this office for three years now.

Perhaps he has prescribed himself just one too many XaNax.

One Shopper – Two Receipts

So, I’ve become one of those “one shopper – two receipt ladies”.  You know who they are.  You’re in line behind someone at the market and they have a bunch of stuff on the counter and the guy rings it up and they pay for it…and you notice there are still items left on the belt…and suddenly the cashier is ringing up those other  items separately.  One person paying for two separate orders.

I now know that those women who’ve pissed me off for years are  shopping for their homebound parents who give them a list every day of items that need to be picked up at the Acme.  Of course, it would be SO much easier to only shop once a week, but my Mom would never allow us to do her complete food shopping – she wouldn’t trust any of her three 50ish daughters to get all of the correct items.  And why does my Mom only buy name brand items?  She told me to buy Scott toilet paper and Bounty paper towels and Ivory dishwashing liquid and Cascade dishwasher gel. 

And let me tell you girls, if I had bought the wrong items, that little, white haired  woman would have given me a whole lot of crap – no pun intended…see below.

So, Mom had a bowel resection two days after eating my New Year’s Day pork chop and sauerkraut.  My entire family blamed my cooking, but the Dr. assured me that after years and years of chronic constipation, her bowel finally exploded and formed a huge football shaped balloon in her colon.  A snip here, another snip there, a few stitches and after a week of recovery, Mom is back home counting Dad’s meds…which is a good thing as he tends to pop his “sleeping pills” like they’re candy.

As usual, when there is any kind of turmoil going on in my life, I hide from everyone including my blog buddies and my cute, little, red laptop.  So, I’m back now and glad to be here!